The Finals
- Del Monte
- Dec 23, 2025
- 2 min read
This is the Finals… may the best dad win.
The Finals
It was the night before the Finals, and all through the DelFL,
Two dads stood atop the wreckage where contenders once fell.
Jesse and Keith—elite in one ruthless respect:
Roster chaos aside, they simply out-procreate the rest.
With Metcalf suspended, and Kittle feeling very sore,
Lineups will be set to a soundtrack of toddlers at war.
Cookie crumbs on the couch, Hallmark stealing the screen,
As kickoff collides with grocery runs and dishes to be cleaned.
Wives calling audibles, families locked in dispute,
Yet getting Keith to stop checking the app is a task all but moot.
Still these fathers multitask as veterans hardened by years,
Scarred by diapers, deadlines, and weaponized tears.
When the week finally ends, one dad claims a second star’s glow,
The other explains why Dad’s been such a Grinch, yet their wives already know.
So best of luck to those that remain in,
This is the Finals… may the best dad win.
WeChat of the Week
Poll of the Week
Who is the more deserving Champion?
Jesse
Keith
Game of the Week
Keith vs. Jesse
🤼 | Capt Black Foot vs. Wohls Across America |
Division | Keith vs. SEC |
Head to Head Record | Keith 4-1 |
Playoff Record | Keith 5-2, Jesse 7-5 |
Who has been Axed?
🪓: Jeff, Boner, Bo, Yanni, Giorgio, Sean, Gwil, Keith, Stinky, Billy, Randy, Tony, Jesse, Del, Parker, Birdman
Andrew, Sqwid
Piss Poor Four
Yanni, Gwil, Randy, Boner
Playoffs
Giorgio Cup
2026 Draft
1. Boner 2. Randy 3. Gwil 4. Yanni 5. Stinky 6. Sean 7. Giorgio 8. Billy 9. Birdman 10. Andrew 11. Jeff 12. Parker 13. Tony 14. Del 15. Bo 16. Sqwid
Can we go to prom next year at least?
Thought I’d drop into the chat
I haven't written here in a while, how's everyone doing?
Hey dad, why don't you keep your eyes on the road and quit flatulating
I'm ovulating...